"I just wanna tell y’all that you’re my new heroes."

"Well, put some skates on. Be your own hero.

(Source: theblogofeternalstench)

17,350 notes

theonewholookedback:

Alternate Universe (?) in which Allison Argent gets a real funeral *laughs and cries hysterically*

no but seriously

(Source: definitelyahalewolf)

5,362 notes

AUAllison is still here, even if we can’t see her.

1,870 notes

the-vashta-nerada:

people are always like “if I had a time machine, I’d go and visit the medieval times” or some dumb shit like that. You know what I’d do if I had a time machine? Young Harrison Ford.

26,128 notes

dragon-princi:

i know everyone says adam and steve for the whole ‘its not adam and eve its actually supposed to be adam and steve ;)’ 

but hear me out. what if people started saying, ‘its Addie and Eve not Adam and Eve.’ 

30 notes

basedskeleton:

I’m comfortable in assuming that my NSA file concludes with “really really fucking weird, but poses no threat”

37,024 notes

Litany in Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out by Richard Siken (x)

(Source: aglassfullofhappiness)

1,487 notes

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

321,201 notes

iridescentoracle:

embroideredcupcake:

Damn straight there’s a Bisexual Agenda.

It’s to replace all cars with trained pterodactyls by 2025.

38,946 notes

  • Me: Heyyyy baby *hugs cat*
  • Cat: *paws me*
  • Cat: *bites me*
  • Cat: *kicks me*
  • Cat: *scratches me*
  • Cat: *runs away immediately*
  • Me:
  • Me: *looks down the bleeding hands*
  • Me: Cats are
  • Me: the best

14,646 notes

friendly reminder:

jupiterjazzed:

critical thought ≠ hate

calling out queerbaiting ≠ hate

asking for representation ≠ hate

pointing out misrepresentation ≠ hate

pointing out cultural appropriation ≠ hate

acknowledging problematic shit in anything ≠ hate

(Source: cypresssunn)

14,395 notes

peanutscratch said: EGG! YOU'RE AN EGG BENDER! THE EGGATAR MASTER OF THE 4 EGGEMENTS

likesdinos:

.image

Scrambled.

image

Poached.

image

Omelette.

image

Harboiled.

Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Omelettes attacked. Only the Eggatar, master of all four Eggements, could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he vanished. A hundred years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Eggatar, an Hardboiled named Egg. And although his hardboiled skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he’s ready to save anyone.

image

But I believe Egg can save the kitchen.

86 notes

accidentalpornblog:

Read this way out of context.

accidentalpornblog:

Read this way out of context.

(Source: japcoregalore)

148,200 notes

thtwhitegurrl:

slutdust:

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?

279,516 notes